Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
