it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
