Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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