marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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