it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
