Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize