I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
