I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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