How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
