i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
