Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
