They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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