i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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