North Korea, Best Korea!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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