We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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