didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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