so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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