I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
