guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My penis needs a shock collar
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
