Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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