Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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