awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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