Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
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A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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