At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
