Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
