Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
