meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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