Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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