I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
