My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
