Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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