I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
