singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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