is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
