you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
