Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
