Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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