I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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