I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
