Your face is a jimmy john
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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