I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
