at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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