I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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