it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
