yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
