Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
