You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
