Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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