based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
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