before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
