My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
