What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Alive.
So much puke
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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