There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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