I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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