It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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