super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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