the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Terrible idea I love it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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